Drug rape. Not date Rape. I was not on a fucking date.

by sharongooner


This is a difficult blog and to be honest I don’t know if I will either finish it or publish it. But I’ll try. It is about a young lady, we’ll call her Katy. In 2002 she was the victim of a date rape. But she didn’t recall it until nearly 9 years later. Her story follows.

In 2002 Katy had been to her local pub. She always felt safe there as her family had been drinking there for years. It was a community pub, everybody knew everybody. The landlords were away, she thinks they may have been on holiday. The barman was in charge, and had the pub to himself. The following piece to the story have been a blurry image that Katy has recalled many times in recent years but put it down to a bad dream as there was no other explanation.

It seemed there were late drinks, but then suddenly there was just Katy and the barman in the pub. She remembers him saying he was going upstairs to get more drinks, and thought that a bit strange as it was a bar, why did he need to go upstairs. Her next memory is of feeling totally paralysed, but her eyes are open. She can see the ceiling of the pub. She feels as if her dress has been hoisted up, but is unable to move her arms or any part of her body. Then she recalls hearing the barman on the phone saying the words “I’ve got one”.  She couldn’t move her head, but turned her eyes towards the door and see’s two, maybe three men enter into the bar. Katy recalls nothing after this.

She got up the next day and remembered nothing. Some months later the above all started to become flashbacks at night. She was so confused as she could not piece it together. In 2002 date rape was rather new and rare so she had no reason to think such a thing had happened. Especially when the man in the flashback had befriended all her family and friends over the years and entrusted himself to everybody. Katy continued to get the flashbacks, but ignored them. I think Katy always had a suspicion “something” had happened but preferred not to imagine “what”, and carried on with her life.

Katy went to meet some friends this Saturday night just gone at a pub, and was going to go on to a party. As she approached the bar, the barman from the flashbacks was sat on a bar stool drinking. She immediately recalled something and asked him if he used to work at the pub. He said yes, looked me in the eyes and looked away. Then, and this is the most significant part… a person standing next to him laughed and said the words “Yeah, he did, he’s also a fan of date rape drugs”. Well, Katy’s head literally exploded with this information and all she could think about was getting out of there. She was dizzy, felt sick and faint, she doesn’t recall much of the following moments. All she remembers is running out, getting in a cab, getting home and blurting everything out to her husband.

It was all too much. Katy’s husband left Katy asleep cuddled up in an armchair for the night. He covered her with a dressing gown. She slept for some hours.

The next morning Katy and her husband talked everything through and it was decided they should go to the police. Despite the time lapse, a rape, or a sexual assault had definitely occurred and he has likely done it to others. They made some enquiries about his name, as Katy only knew his first name. Friends came through very quickly, and they made their way to a police station.

Katy was taken to a rape suite in another area of town with a specially trained officer, and told the officer everything. Because Katy cannot remember any type of penetration or assault, there is sadly very little evidence of anything happening. She could have sat there and made it up, but Katy is honest, and in a way is glad she cannot remember that part. The officer said this was common and a classic sign of what happens with date rape drugs.

So as it stands, the evidence given at the moment is deemed as “intelligence”. If the perpetrator has any previous, or if anything comes up in the future, it can be brought into the evidence.

Now Katy has dealt with the official part, the hard work begins. She has not eaten for two days and feels constantly sick. It is all so very raw, she is also scared the flashbacks will worsen, and she can’t bear that thought. As soon as she is alone, even for 5 minutes this is all she can think about. Her family has been superb, as have her very good friends. She has a lot of support and has to remember not to feel alone, or feel as if she is the only victim. Her whole family feel violated and they need to support each other through it.

Katy has been crying a lot. But with love, she will get through this. This was Katy’s story thus far.

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