REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES AND GIVE THANKS
It wasn’t all bad, that 2011. But we can become overwhelmed by negativity.
Just look at twitter, what gets us fired up the most? Bad stuff. We waste our energy being angry, we ALL do it. Someone does or says something bad either in life or online and we go daft about it. But when someone does something good, it doesn’t get half the attention it should because we are crap at rewarding/being nice. I don’t know why this is, there is nothing wrong in telling someone they have done a positive thing, maybe we fear being seen as arse-licking, or only doing it to attract attention to ourselves. or maybe it’s just me, I dunno.
I can understand why a lot of the celebrity section of twitter barely follow anybody back, the hate they receive is just not acceptable. A quick glimpse down their @ replies will often reveal a really dark, dirty side to people’s characters. It isn’t justified to say it comes with the territory, it’s just wrong.
I believe we are all of us equal, but yes, some people are very talented at what they do and it is quite right that they are famous for it, but you try saying something positive to them, like “Well done on your new song” or “Great column in your magazine this week” and you’re seen by many as some sort of desperate sycophant, so you do it less and less. Believe me, if David Bowie were on twitter he’d fucking hate me, and would probably seek injunctive relief. But it isn’t just famous people, it’s us, you and I, we get just the same hate, simply for being who we are. I stumbled across some extremely horrible stuff about me a few weeks ago after I made an ill thought comment. It was badly timed, and I can see how it appeared to some as selfish. My intentions were good, but on the face of it, they appeared to be the complete opposite. (I’m not perfect but I will hold my hands up when I make an error.) I apologised to someone following an unpleasant exchange about it, and for me that was that, done and dusted. But unlike real life these things simmer away on line and yes, there was a lovely conversation between four or five people calling me some pretty disgusting things and it really did hurt me.
But that was my fault. Had it been in private that would have been fine, I’m sure we’ve all shared a few direct message conversations where we discuss someone in a manner that we would not do publicly, because it is good manners. We don’t like someone but we wouldn’t want to upset them directly because we don’t intend to cause them hurt. We aren’t bad people, I would never want to be responsible for upsetting someone because of a publicly accessible negative view. I know how it feels, it’s fucking horrible. Anybody who says it doesn’t hurt is probably lying.
I’ve just remembered that this was supposed to be a happy blog, there’s your lesson see? It’s all too damn easy to moan!
So. Here are my best bits of 2011. They are imprinted in my memory now as important events that helped balance out some of the horrible stuff what did go and happen.
1. Meeting Bearfacedlady and Taranoodle and Emiloooo from twitter. Three bloody lovely ladies, who made me realise I wasn’t alone. I love them.
2. Leaving my job. Sounds negative but it is the best decision I have ever made. Not just for health reasons, but it no longer gave me satisfaction that it had always done previously.
3. Ianmartin sending me a signed copy of his fucking brilliant book. He’s a talented chap. I’ve met him a few times now, he’s a good friend, has a heart of gold, is completely normal, but is damn bloody good at what he does and this is why he is successful. His emotional, passionate speech at his book launch is something I will never forget. I love him.
4. Quantick sending me some illegally downloaded music, like a motherfucking rebel. I’ve also met him a few times now, again, he is good at what he does, but his talents really are in hosting quiz nights and calling one of the team members a “cunt”. He is a very caring man, quite humble, and he always makes time for people. I love him.
5. Jezzebelle sending me some really hot knickers and a copy of Caitlin Moran’s book through the post. I have never met her, but I know we are friends for life. Her support in private despite going through her own personal traumas has been unquantifiable. I love her.
6. Suzannemoore sending me a gift voucher. It might not sound much but I felt really drab at the time, and I used it to buy a dress and a handbag. Every time I have met her, she has been warm, and extremely funny. She’s quite a feminist, and this appears to attract a lot of abuse her way. She battles through though and I admire her for such qualities. She gave me much encouragement this year. I love her.
7. Having a pint with Holly Johnson without knowing. This is the craziest most brilliant thing to have ever happened to me. Whilst at Quantick’s 50th birthday party, I’m sat having a lovely chat with this Liverpudlian dude about music, specifically Bowie. It was after about half an hour when I asked him his name and he said “Holly” that I realised who he was. I love this fact, because it means we just shared stories without any preconceptions. He clearly didn’t know who I was. *Wink* I love him.
8. Finishing and publishing my book. Can’t explain what this means, but the word “Closure” is in there somewhere. (https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006M3EWPS available here, buy and donate to the fantastic charity Mind)
9. All of twitter. There really are some fantastic people on there. I love seeing people blossom, there is so much talent around, from joke writers, to bloggers, to artists. Use the platform, show off your work, because that is what it should be for. Sod the sneery jealousy, and the aloofness of some. Life is short and quite shitty in bits. To the outside world twitter is a celebrity back slapping paradise. We know this is not so, it’s just a great place to form new friendships, it isn’t all what Stephen Fry had for lunch, but we do have to thank him for kinda being responsible for bringing us all here.
Have a great new year people, I’m positive it’s going to be a smasher. Despite the coalition.
Peace out X